Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Promise of a New Year

Every new year comes with an unspoken promise: the promise of a new beginning. It is this promise of a clean slate upon which we can rebuild our lives that give many people hope for the coming year. For many people around the world, the 31st of December marks more than just the complete passage of the Earth around the sun, indeed, it also marks the moment when anything seems possible, a time when they can pull their lives together, maybe even pick up some of the pieces that they have left out during the previous year, or perhaps even rediscover certain dreams that have laid cold and buried out of necessity. Christmas is a holiday that is often associated with the family, but New Year's Eve is for the individual.

As the clock draws closer to 12 midnight on the 31st of December, people have already begun to take to the streets. From what I hear on the radio, roads all over the city are beginning to become congested. Some, like the ones in Kuala Lumpur would be closed entirely in anticipation for the big night. Others, like the highways for instance, are no doubt jam-packed with revelers who are trying to get to various locations. Not me though, I've got other things to worry about right now, like a certain missing jacket that I wish to wear tonight, for example, and how on earth am I going to finish writing this before it is time for me to go out?!

But even as I dash about the modest confines of my home in search of this pair of jeans or that pair of shorts, I cannot help but contemplate over some of the things that I have achieved this past year.  Needless to say, finding Ray (and on my birthday too!) was one of the highlights of 2011. Not a day has gone by since I met him that I did not feel completely happy or, if I wasn't, he wasn't there to make sure that I was. And what of some of the bad things too? Things I'd given up, for example, or perhaps resolved to do at the start of 2011 but not taken the effort to attain? There was the MPAC production of Mamma Mia that I dropped out of, I suppose, and also the auditions for Pixies the Musical that I passed on because I was afraid I would not have enough time... And a lot of other things I'm sure, that I resolved to do at the start of 2011 but did not, which begs the question: why make these resolutions in the first place?

I contemplate this as I crawl under the bed (all the while forcing myself to fit into a pair of jeans I've not worn in over half a year!) in search of that jacket, and even as I factor the time it will take to vacuum the dust off the garment (should I find it) before it will be presentable enough for me to wear out on new year's eve, I begin to realize that 'hope' was precisely the reason why people made resolutions and why the new year's eve has come to hold such a special place in human tradition. Telling yourself you will do something, is just another way of promising yourself that things will get better, and that your life will be slightly bereft of some of the nasty mistakes you've made in the past. Of course, whether this actually works out the way you resolve it to be is an entirely different issue altogether, but the essence of the resolution remains: "here's something to hope for, with the coming of the new year!" and in all honesty, what do we have to live for (especially in those, most troubling moments in life) if not for "hope" of a better future? Why do we keep on living, if not for the implicit (however self-imposed) promise that someday we can forge a better future for ourselves?

I find my jacket eventually, relatively dust-free, underneath a pile of old and (up till then) forgotten items from a regretful past and I can appreciate the irony that something I would be wearing in a few hours time to usher in the promise of a New Year was shielded from the 'decay' of time by non-other than the 'mistakes' of my past. As cli-che'd as this might sound, I suppose our mistakes really do protect our future, just as long as we keep on moving forward.

As I apply the finishing touches of wax that will keep my hair perfectly sculpted amidst the festivities tonight, I can't help but admit, that it would be great to have a fresh start, or at least the idea of one. To forget for a moment about the mistakes of 2011 (although they would undoubtedly come back to bite me in the butt) and think instead about how I wish 2012 to turn out. Of course, I suppose not all new year's resolutions are meant to come true... but right now it is 7pm on the 31st of December, 2011. And in five hours I'm going to be out there with the rest of the world, dressed in so much glitter and tinsel (that can ever, only be appropriate for a New Year's attire) screaming at the top of my lungs, as I count down the ten seconds to the very first moment of 2012, when anything and everything seems possible. 

Everything you do everyday should be something that will lead you to a better tomorrow.




soul232 said...

'...but New Year's Eve is for the individual.'

How I like that statement :) Keep posting inspiring posts and Happy New Year to you

Cyren said...

Hi, thanks!

and Happy New Year to you too!