Goodbye, my Honey Bee.

Hi all

I had the same dream again this morning. It was a little different. This time it ended with Honey and I holding each other, she nuzzled against my chin, me stroking her hair. She looked at me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said once again in a mix of English and Chinese; "It's okay daddy. Baby pu yao." I got a call about 15 minutes later. It was Dr. Jenny. Honey had just taken her last breath. Surprisingly, I am holding up rather well. I suppose it was the uncertainty of her situation and the possibility of inadvertently prolonging her suffering that really got to me. I don't know if you are superstitious people, or if you believe that animals even have souls. But I know what I believe, and that is I have always had a very strong connection with my animal friends, what more a friend like Honey whose lived with me and done so many things with me. I really do believe that this recurring dream is a message of sorts. And through that I have found my closure.

My dearest Honey bee, I wish I could tell you again how much I love you. Or that I could stroke your head and tickle your ears just one more time. But I guess it is time for you to go to the Goddess. We may never meet again, but I will feel you now everywhere; in the air that fills my lungs, in the soft wind that ruffles my hair, in every blade of grass that cushions my step, in every flower that brightens my sight. I love you, my sweet little honey bee. Goodbye.

The Hardest Decision to Make

Hey ya'll 

I am writing this because I need to "talk" about it. Honey's condition has taken a turn for the worst. She was up all night, crying from pain and irritation and when I checked up on her, was quite astonished to find that the scab on her leg had fallen off. In its place: a gaping wound resembling nothing more than a black, sticky hole. I didn't have to be a veterinarian to know that this was bad news and so I snapped a picture, and sent an urgent email to our Doctor, Jenny. Within the next few hours I had gotten a reply. I had to come in with Honey and the news just gets worse.

From what I understand, based on my limited knowledge on veterinary terminology, Honey has a genetic condition which causes the muscles to deteriorate under the skin. The problem, when it starts, is often unnoticeable and may present itself in signs such as very minor looking wounds, redness, or loss of hair (symptoms which are, incidentally, more commonly recognized as that caused by overgrooming). Indeed, due to the sensation of discomfort under the skin, the glider would indeed exhibit signs of overgrooming or self mutilation such as excessive scratching and biting. Over time, contaminants such as bacteria from the glider's saliva get into the wound and accumulate there exacerbating the process, causing the surrounding tissue to become necrotic. By the time the scab falls off and the owner finds out how serious the condition actually is. Well... In Honey's case, the problem started on her left hip causing weakness in the attached limbs which may also explain how she came to dislocate her ankle in the first place.

According to Doctor Jenny, the problem probably resulted due to an illegal shipment of gliders from Indonesia that were carriers of the rogue gene. The problem itself is quite a recent development and the affected gliders are all likely to be progeny of interbreeding between the Indonesian glider stock, and the local gliders thus contaminating the DNA. I have given consent for Honey's tissue samples to be sent to a lab so that research can be done to prevent, and hopefully event cure the problem. As of this moment, the condition still looks grim and I am told to "be prepared". To be honest, I don't think I can ever "be prepared" for a moment like this. 

Road to Recovery 2

Hey ya'll 

had to wake up EXTRA early this morning to settle Honey's feeding and medication because I will be obliged to go for the Ghost Festival later in the morning. (FYI the Ghost Festival, according to local belief, is the one day of the year that the dead may return to the mortal plane. Think, the original concept of Halloween, except more of a "break" from being purged of their bad karma in "hell" as part of the (unnecessarily) complicated process of Buddhist Reincarnation). Anyway, I really don't have much time as I will have to be leaving soon so do allow me to get straight to the point. 

• Honey's condition appears to be improving quite rapidly in terms of the wound on her leg. The redness and blood had gone down drastically this morning and I think it may have something to do in part with how I got up in the middle of the night to re-apply her lotions. Dr. Jenny mentioned that the site is aggravated by dryness so it stands to reason the recovery process can only be aided by keeping it constantly moist but clean.
  
• In terms of her injured leg, however, I do not see any improvement yet though, in all fairness, it has only been a couple of days since her visit to the doctor. She drags the appendage behind her and does not use it at all, which in itself may be good for recovery, but what worries me is the position in which she drags it and her propensity for minute bouts of hyperactivity (which may inadvertently make things worse!). As it stands, I try to divert these hyperactive moments by keeping her otherwise occupied. Usually by stroking her, or playing a little "stationary" game with my fingers where I wave them in front of her and she sits still and tries to grab at them using only her front paws. Again, I shudder to think what might happen next week when I go off to work.
  
• Honey ate her medication with no hassle at all this morning (GOOD GIRL!) and also drank approximately 2.5ml of Ensure, which is a formula dietary food that is high in calcium which is supposed to help her bones heal faster and promote health all round. 

Comparison of wound from yesterday shows encouraging improvement! 

Back to sleep after a quick nibble. Not sure if its the medication that's causing the drowsiness or if she's just more lethargic generally these days. Either way less activity = less chances of self injury. I'd much rather she limited playtime to when she saw me so I've taken to covering the cage when I'm away to remove any external stimuli. So far so good! 

Ps. I really hope she gets better before me and Ray's weekend trip to Perhentian. Otherwise I may have to start planning alternatives. Perhaps a call to Dr. Jenny is in order (she did mention that she has boarded some Gliders before). But that is more than a month away, and I sincerely hope she will be walking and healed by then! 

Cheers,
Cyren

Road to Recovery 1

Hey ya'll 

just going to post up random updates on Honey's condition. I don't expect this to be a day-to-day thing but I do expect it to be rather regular as I document her road to recovery. I realize, despite overwhelming concern on your part that not everyone may wish to follow a day-to-day mini post on the healing process but I'm really doing this for me as much as anyone else because writing about it helps me cope and "feel" that there is some progress. I can only hope that in time, reality will match my expectations. SO, let us begin. Day one of the healing process. 

• Woke up at 7.00am today to feed Honey her meds. Turns out there was less fuss about it than last night as she drank the relaxed anti-inflammatory pills and antibiotic without any hassle. Perhaps it is the early morning hours, but I'm inclined to think that she is beginning to understand the correlation between the "icky stuff" I've been feeding her and the relief she must be feeling about the pain and itching in her back and legs.
• On a less favorable note, it appears that Honey's constant scratching has reopened the wounds on her back. The spot was sticky with dried blood this morning and it caused me some alarm. I did take comfort in the fact, however, that her brutal "ministrations" were only concentrated on one side of the hind-quarters this time and that the other portions of her back look significantly less red/inflamed. Upon cleaning the wound I found that a scab had formed over the affected location. Also quite encouraging was the fact that she did not squirm, cry or try to claw and bite at the afflicted area even after I placed the lotion on it. 
• I am actually more worried about her skin condition now, than I am about the leg. While she still drags the limb behind her from time to time as she is walking about, it does not seem to hurt or inconvenience her unduly any longer as she uses it from time to time. Hope we can see some visible improvement as the week progresses.