Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Ramblings of a Broadway Insomniac

Hey ya'll 

can't sleep so I thought I'd do a little musing. So we have this production coming up called Broadway Extraordinaire... well, it's actually a show that we're putting on in collaboration with all the performing clubs from Taylors University and, well, the original plan was to have me star in it as one of their cast, you know... sing, act, (dare I say dance?)... basically do what I do best on stage. And that was all great too!!! Wonderful plan, not to mention a great way to indulge myself once again... or so it seemed. I don't know what changed. Perhaps it was the eager faces of all these people, so much younger than me, staring from across the table. Or maybe it was just about time something like this happened... but somehow today I was struck with a moment of realization. And I had to ask myself; "why am I doing this? And to what purpose does this serve?" Well, I'm not getting paid to do it that's for sure so there's no monetary gain in it for me... and as for performing in it... well, I'm not so sure about that anymore. I mean, it's not like I don't like performing anymore, I still do! But maybe that was just it! It wasn't that I didn't want to perform, just that this wasn't the stage for me.

Perhaps it all "started" when I realized it has been almost 6 years since I'd graduated from Taylors University College myself! I suppose, it was about time that I finally moved on for good. Moved on to bigger things, bigger stages so to speak. The "future" is really a lot scarier that way. Back in high school... in college and university even, I had always been the star. One of the best singers, best actors... but out there in the world?  And it's the same with jobs too, you know! Smartest student in class or valedictorian of your year usually counts for diddly-squat out there. On the other hand, it is a pretty big world and there are a lots of big fish. So maybe that isn't such a bad thing after all. Fish grow bigger when they are kept in larger aquariums anyway don't they? And just as well, perhaps (and I really don't want to speak so soon because I have a nasty habit of jinxing things) the Broadway Academy auditions were my ticket to finally finding my "big pond" out there. (still quite clueless about everything else)

But the question remains... what am I doing here?I realized then that my job in this production, unlike what it had always been in countless other productions, was not to go out there and put on the best show I've ever put on in my life. In other words, my job in all of this was not to shine, but to polish all these wonderful talented young people, so that they can have their time to shine! And as much as I love performing, I realized that I do love encouraging other young people to reach for their dreams, perhaps "discover" potential where they did not even know existed. 
Now I've had my chance when I was in college, and it was good while it lasted. But it's over. This time, it's their's. We're heading off to an awesome start guys! And I am really looking forward to working with all of you!!!  

ps. Okay... so that took like, all of twenty minutes to write and I'm not even sleepy. Now what?

pps. Boy, have I grown up or what, huh? *if only old blog-self could see current blog-self me now!*

ppps. I feel like Will Schuester from GLEE


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