Do you know, that I consider myself to be extremely lucky? Lucky in the sense that I believe everything to happen for a reason, though seemingly by chance... that is to say, that although things always happen to the effect of other things happening to which a loose sense of 'purpose' may be served at one point, they always almost takes one by surprise when it happens. Oh I'm sure you know what I mean... like how I met my Ray for instance. Poke'mon. Who'd have thought right? But that's how it went... a meeting that was supposed to take place between me and a friend, who in turn invited his friend (Ray) whom I liked so much. Liked enough, anyway, for me to connive a most cunning and brilliant plant to give him a lift home that night. Indeed, I suppose he must have liked me a whole lot as well because he quite politely declined an offer for a lift home from his other friend, opting instead to follow me. (that, or quite simply, he left his water tank in my car!) But either way, accidental or not, the rest as they say is history. But it is so hard as well, to be in love. So much to have, also means so much to loose. There are moments when I can't help but feel scared, the sharp pang in the middle of my stomach, somewhere beneath my solar plexus, accompanied almost by the characteristic bitter tang at the back of my mouth, whenever I think of what it would be like to loose him. It's scary you know, and I know some of you may have trouble digesting this, but people like us have feelings for our loved ones too, and those feelings are - if not more - exactly the same sort of feelings you may have for yours. Anyway, I'm coming up with something really special for Ray, to mark half a year of us being together (when time is short, time is all you have!) and I really wanna discuss it at length here, and ask for all of your opinion as well... but seeing as to how we share this blog now, I guess it will have to be a surprise for all.